How many times were you
Not allowed to cry growing up?
How many times did get you
Get beat, shamed and
Made into nothing if you cried?
How many times did you
Only allow you to cry alone
And silently without a sound
To make sure nobody could see
Or hear you in order to survive?
How many times did you bury
Deeper and deeper all that pain
With your silent inner cry
To the level where you numbed
All of your feelings and emotions
And no longer knew who you were
In this world?
Did you find yourself
Smile and laugh on autopilot
When you were around people
And cried alone for no reason
Behind the closed doors
Wondering what was wrong with you
Thinking you were crazy
With all the fears and doubts
With all the sadness boiling up
Having total confusion as to
Who you truly were
To the level where
You thought you never knew
What joy and happiness truly was
That all you knew was
Pain and sadness?
Is it really true?
Does it feel heavier or lighter for you?
As an infinite being
As an eternal soul
That God created you to be,
Would you choose grief and sorrow?
Would you choose fears and doubts?
Or is it what you perceived
From everybody else,
Especially those whom you loved
Thought it was you and
Bought it was yours
When it actually wasn’t?
How much of it belonged to you?
Less than 1% or more than 1%?
How much of it belonged to others?
A little, a mega ton latte or all of it?
What if your funny, joyful part
That you appear to others
That you thought as a facade
Is actually the truth of who you are?
What if the other side of you
With all the pain and sadness
That was never allowed to express
Is what you were trained
To cut off your total being?
Have you noticed
No matter whatever cruelty
And unkindness was done
To destroy you
Could never stop your pure heart
Could never stop your pure light
Could never stop your pure joy
Could never stop your beautiful smile
Could never stop your resilient strength
Of a magnificent soul that you truly be
Whether you were conscious of it or not?
Everything that doesn’t allow you
To acknowledge that truth about you,
Will you please uncreate, delete
and destroy it all?
What if that painful part of you
That was never allowed
To be expressed
Isn’t the truth of who you are
Yet is your essential part
That needs to be heard
That needs to be seen
That needs to be acknowledged
That needs to be dived deep
In order for all of the pain,
Sadness, grief and sorrow
To be felt
To be processed
To be transformed
To be liberated
Into the fullness of YOU
The joy you truly be?
What if that part holds the key
To your total freedom to be YOU?
Would you like to know that
That you are safe
To feel any pain
To feel any sorrow
To grieve what you were
Never allowed to grieve
To cry and weep
As much as you’d like
As loud as you’d like
Make a sound for your pain
Feel it in your body
It needs to be heard
Let it out in full capacity
In a safe and supportive space
Just for YOU?
Would you like to know that
You are way more capable
Of doing and being that for you
With your soul and God
As your eternal love and healing
For you?
Your healing journey can be
A bumpy road
It is not always
Filled with roses and flowers
All the way
If you hold on to
So much stuff
For far too long,
There might be times
You might feel down low
Sad or even empty
You might feel strange
Not being sure
Where you are standing
No longer relating to
People and things
That you used to
That might get you to wonder,
What this is
If you are going backwards
What’s wrong with this
What is going on with you
You are supposed to feel great,
High as a kite,
Now that you have let go
Of so many lies, masks
And body armors that
Aren’t true about you
What if what is right
About all of it that
You haven’t considered?
What if what is right about you
That you are not acknowledging?
What if both high and low
Are part of your healing journey
To reclaiming the fullness of your soul?
What if your willingess and courage
To feel all the unbearable pain
To feel all the deep sorrow and grief
To flow the ocean of tears
That you weren’t allowed to shed
Is to let your pure joy
Permeate into your heart
Into every area of your life and living
Through every cell of your body
With every fibre of your being
As the full expression of your soul
That God created you to be?
What if that is you diving deep
Into all the darkest
Places and spaces
That aren’t true about you
In order for
The precious and rare
Gigantic and sparkling diamond
That you truly be
To be unearthed and
Shine brilliantly
Way more than
The central Sun?
Would you like to receive that
You know what it feels like
To recognize and acknowledge
To be safe and familiar
With your new real YOU
As an innate natural
You are born to be
Your total being
Your total space
Your total freedom
Your infinite lightness
Your pure joy
Your God’s magical symphony
In every molecule of the Universe
For all eternity and back?
You got this. One step at a time.
- Phuong
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